just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
They took my balls.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
