What a fucking waste of an outfit
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
