There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
you made out with another girl for some wings
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
