It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
