just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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