Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
is wine microwaveable?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
