Do you still have your period?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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