Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
