i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
