you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
