tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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