that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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