Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
