thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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