But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
