Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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