I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
