I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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