I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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