she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
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