I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it's great music for shaving your balls
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
