i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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