he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize