Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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