My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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