idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i wish my penis had a tongue
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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