Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
