Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
