I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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