She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
