I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
