tell your sister to shave her snatch
it hurts more in the daytime
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
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I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize