im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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