he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
