I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
