doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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