Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
