I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
