I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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