just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
