the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
