I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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