He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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