Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize