If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i believe in u and ur pee
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