Plan B is the new Plan A
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
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