I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
