there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
