Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
