How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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