i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He is an equal opportunity slut.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
