I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
