My brain says no but my pants say off.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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