Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
