I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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