If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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