Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Dick very happy bro
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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