direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
