I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
